three minutes later the hose was sedated when its timer ran out. it refused to be taken in until an additional four quarters were deposited.
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methinks someone spent their weekend getting rabies shots.
never let those bushy tails fool you: new york squirrels are fierce, ruthless vampires that will eat your face off if they smell food in your mouth.
people are going all crazy over this video but honestly, laughing without smiling is not that special. what’s more amazing is that he has managed to imitate exactly what i sound like during sex, and you can bet your butthole i ain’t smiling then either.
via thedailywhat
if you thought american television was awful and expoitative, you probably haven’t seen japan’s Panic Face King. in this episode, some terrible person thought it would be funny to put a guy in a room under the pretense of interviewing people for a documentary. then all of the interviewees suddenly get picked off by an unseen sniper. fearing for his life, the interviewer does what anyone who thinks he going to die does: he crawls around on the floor trying to find a slim chance of survival.
comedy gold, right???
all the while in the background you hear the laughter, the laughter, god the demonic laughter.
japan, seriously, this is more fucked up than your street fashion.
brandon hardesty, why on earth did you ever put baby shampoo on your mouth in the first place? and why do i think it’s so AMAZING?
i love how he makes no attempt to not look like a complete dufus at every second. and the sound effects are pretty charming too.
via thedailywhat
the anne frank museum in amsterdam is now in possession of the only known existing footage of anne frank as she leans out of a window to watch a wedding.
the 20-second footage was filmed by a neighbor on july 22, 1941, just a year before the frank family went into hiding. it’s sobering to think that anne only had a year left to do something so simple as lean out of a window.
fortunately i’ve never been unfortunate enough to have to endure a colleague’s smooth jazz, but only because i had the foresight to choose a career in the music industry, where smooth jazz is easily grounds for termination.
mike stern however was not so lucky and wrote this clever animated short, distraxion, about the tyranny of smooth jazz in the workplace, the not-so-silent killer of morale and self-worth.
this short film by will hoffman is so beautiful in its simplicity. without being mawkish, hoffman does a great job of documenting the consequence of the inconsequential moment, that fertile interim that marks the transition between one state and another. those moments can be asymptotic in their insignificance, but they are never nothing.
via likecool
so in observance of this, i will post the next cutest thing which is al franken drawing an amazingly accurate map of the united states…BY HAND! as far as i’m concerned, that is the fastest way to get yourself elected to the presidency in 2012.
via zoomdoggle
jarbas angelli saw a newspaper photo of birds on 5 tiers of wires and set it to music using the birds as notes. the result is surprisingly beautiful and melodic proving that the birds are composers and didn’t knowsers!
last week 50 kabbalah rabbis chartered a small plane and flew around Israel, praying and blowing the shofar in order to ward off the swine flu that has already infected 2,000 israelis and killed five.
i think this story would be just as plausible if the headline were “50 Crazies Stowed Indefinitely on Plane in Response to Asylum Overcrowding.”
AMIRITE?? did you see the rabbi on the phone??? what’s he doing? ordering a freaking kosher pizza??
via yesbutnobutyes
this is so terrifying i almost want to cancel my internet service! i feel like the ducks have gained access into my psyche and now i’ll never be safe. once you let them into your network they can infiltrate your life and kill you, much like freddy kreuger and dreams. when you log on, not even your facebook friends can save you from being ripped to pieces from the razor beaks of rabid ducks.
you know how when you were a kid and you’d go to feed the ducks with a few slices of stale bread which you thought was more than enough for such small creatures, and you’d have a great time feeding them although the more they ate the more aggressive they’d become? then you’d finally came to the bottom of the bread bag and start turning away but the ducks just kept following you, violently pressuring you for more. and you’d show them the empty bag, even throw it on the ground, but they wouldn’t give up, they just kept pursuing you as you tried to get away and the faster you’d walk, they faster they would walk until finally you’re running away from them and they’re running right after you, quacking ‘more more more! feed us more, you dead bitch!’ That’s usually about where i wake up although once one of them flew into the back of my neck and shat on my favorite shirt.
does anyone know if this cameraperson survived this??? i’ve been scouring the internet for any articles resembling “man gets mauled, anally violated, and shat upon by army of ravenous ducks” but haven’t found anything. let me know!
but every time the little boy rolls onto the floor shrieking his ass off, i’m rolling on the floor laughing mine off.
the funniest part is not the fact that some poor kid is falling; the funniest part is the visual of the tube itself falling to the ground and knowing that there is a kid inside it. there’s an important distinction there; one that makes me feel better about RFLMAO.
also, this is exactly the sort of thing my brother did to me when we were kids but with tools less friendly than a big canvas tube (it was chicken wire, i believe), and i turned out just fine. AND THAT WAS WITHOUT A HELMET.
via urlesque. so call CPS on them.
i really like this kid. he vlogs exclusively from NY’s 5th avenue apple store and is a fucking charmer in his resourcefulness. i love watching the tourists’ reactions in the back, but what i love most is how totally unselfconscious he is about dancing and lip-syncing in the most crowded apple store. he treats it like his bedroom that just happens to have a bunch of techy strangers in it.
apple, if this isn’t already a viral marketing scheme, you better snatch this kid up fast before dell gives him a free computer and webcam!
see nicholi’s youtube channel here.