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it really doesn’t get more heartwarming than this:
a 4-year-old boy runs away from home, gets drunk, and then breaks into a neighbors house to steal their christmas gifts, one of which was a girl’s dress which he was wearing when the police found him wandering the streets, bud light in hand. i don’t know about you guys but this kid sounds like a real firecracker to me.
this might even be more extreme than the couple who bought a 175-sq foot apartment in new york for $100K. this horizontally-challenged bit of london real estate went on the market for almost a million dollars. at only 60 inches wide, that’s almost $17,000 per inch of width. you have to admit, it’s freaking adorable all scrunched in there like a CD on a shelf of dictionaries, but 60 inches wide?? where the fuck would you put a bowflex?!
seriously, i wonder how long it would take the inhabitants to go crazy, being only able to walk along one trajectory and all. i would definitely not want to drop acid and hang out at this house, and you can quote me on that.
via the daily dust
i hate this expression but it’s the freaking truth here: only in new york.
“Zaarath and Christopher Prokop — and their two cats — live in the smallest apartment in the city, a 175-square-foot “microstudio” in Morningside Heights the couple bought three months ago for $150,000…
The couple wakes up every morning in their queen-size bed, which takes up one-third of the living space…They then walk five feet toward the tiny kitchen, where they pull out their workout clothes, which are folded neatly in two cabinets above the sink…They then jog to their jobs in Midtown, picking up along the way their work clothes, which are “strategically stashed at various dry cleaners.
Just in case the cleaners are closed, both have emergency clothes at their offices.”
you have to admire the resourcefulness of this couple though; they live in a tiny studio, deliberately living without crockery, cooking utensils, even a wardrobe, so that they can eat out everyday and run to work every morning and pick up their outfit for the day from the dry cleaners. it honestly sounds like a dismal existence to me, but hey, maybe i just require more room for my bowflex and beanie baby collection.
read the full story here.
you know why japan has one of the lowest birth rates in the world? because the japanese government allows people to MARRY VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS IN LEGITIMIZED WEDDINGS.
Japanese gamer Sal9000 (real name Loser-san) wedded the love of his lame ass life on Sunday in the first ever human-avatar union. the bride was Nene Anegasaki, a brunette bombshell who, if she weren’t confined to a screen, would never have anything to do with the bumbling boob Sal9000 in real life. Nene hails from the Nintendo DS game Love Plus, a dating simulation game where you, uh, court women. for points. Her family was unable to make the wedding, seeing as videogame characters don’t have families, but the wedding was fortunately still streamed live on the video sharing site Nico Nico Douga so that everyone with an internet connection could witness how sad it looked like when a man walked down the aisle holding his bride-to-be in his palm.
The newlyweds are currently honeymooning in Guam where Sal9000 can be seen sulking in restaurants after having realized that he’s sworn his life to a video game character who doesn’t put out.
I can’t tell if this story makes me more depressed for Sal9000 or the future in general. because if this is the next phase of internet dating, i think i can stop shaving my legs now.
prepare to weep for humanity as you watch this:
via boingboing
people are going all crazy over this video but honestly, laughing without smiling is not that special. what’s more amazing is that he has managed to imitate exactly what i sound like during sex, and you can bet your butthole i ain’t smiling then either.
via thedailywhat
in one of those implausibly creepy developments that you can’t believe hasn’t occurred sooner, a company in north carolina is now making custom blankets made from shedded pet hair. just collect your pet’s hair and mail it off to Pet Yarn Chic and within a few weeks they will spin it into yarn for you so that you can knit your own crazy blanket, or they will knit whatever you specify.
my dream is to see someone make a dog sweater made out of that dog’s own hair. can someone please do that and let me know how long it takes for the dog to go insane?
and i wonder how many blankets they could make from the hair found at this dude’s house.
LA Times article here.