anyone talks to me like a pirate today and i will slap you all the way back to march 16, 2002, the last day that something pirate-related was not annoying.
unless of course you’re a somali pirate, in which case you’d still be cool and not contrived.
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is eric brown from sunny california who submitted this photo of a car draped in the unofficial flag of california for the “are there any other non-texan douchebags that like state flags out there” contest. i swear i just saw this car in california dragging a bunch of tin cans with “JUST MARRIED” written in white shoe polish in the back window. oh wait, maybe i was just GAYDREAMING.
eric brown has won a truly amazing and rare People Magazine promotional scarf that i found at a thrift store in Berlin last year. i’m not quite sure how it ended up there but through a truly selfless sacrifice on my part it is now in california, around the neck (or face) of dear reader ERIC BROWN.
congratulations, eric!
here i am in sunny san francisco.
everybody loves a tourist in a visor, right???
i missed you guys! wait til you see all the chinatown trinkets i got for you to throw away!
how many millions of dollars do you think he spent on this paintjob to let everyone in texas know that he was from texas?
i challenge one person to find and photograph a car that so prominently features any other state flag than texas. i don’t think anyone can do it. only in texas.
oh my god, somebody please kill me before i get any stupider listening to this woman talk! you’d think the city council meetings would first screen speakers to ensure they actually had a brain before they went out and strung a completely uninteligible combination of words together in front of a microphone.
i challenge one person to transcribe everything that she says and try to locate one coherent thought or sentence in this speech.
something to get you started: “and we can make things; we can make things, cars. the machine can make it for us…and we can make things and put them in the stores.”
if anything, this video is proof that vegetables can talk about vegetables which is so meta it’s kind of blowing my mind.
via thedailywhat
well, now i’m conflicted. For years, we’ve been urged not to pick up furniture, particularly mattresses, off the curb for fear of spreading bed bugs (a very real threat that I am obsessed with). but yesterday in israel a woman threw out her mother’s mattress only to find out later that her mother had secretly hidden close to a million dollars in it! it could very well be that that mattress you walk by on your way home from work is a padded vault containing a fortune, which could easily pay for the extermination you’d need if it also contained a few bed bugs.
i’m seriously going to start re-thinking my avoidance of salvaging furniture from the street. pick up the right piece and you may be able to actually buy your next piece of furniture. you know, from an actual store.
read the full article here.
your fortune awaits you. BUT YOU HAVE TO WANT IT.