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i just saw Inception the other day (at the fucking drive-in!) and, though i liked it for the most part, i thought there was some pretty gratuitous obfuscation and poor explanations for rules that were seemingly plucked from cobb’s ass. ultimately i think it was the cinematic equivalent of a pretentious boor who uses really big and obscure words to say something simple, in the hopes that no one will have any idea what they’re saying. but my god the sound design!
some of you may not know that i LOVE sarah haskins and the work she did with “Target Women” on Current TV’s Infomania, so let me just make it really clear:
I LOVE SARAH HASKINS. she’s smart, funny, and she looks great in bike shorts. she’s also now just released a new short film called DILF, written by and starring Haskins and Emily Halpern whose roommate relationship sours when Haskins starts sleeping with Halpern’s dad.
and if you haven’t seen them already, check out Target Women episodes on cleaning supplies, yogurt, and feeding your fucking family. but don’t stop there, watch them all!!
if you want to find out what your namesakes are doing in the rest of the world, one google search of your name and the mystery’s solved. but when i was younger, actually meeting someone who shared your exact name was always so magical and fortuitous. i used to try and force the coincidence by looking up my name in phone books when my family traveled, and then calling my namesake from the hotel phone. i wanted to find out what it was like being whitney alexander for that person, what the name ‘whitney alexander’ sounded like reflected off them, and whether, frankly, they deserved to be called whitney alexander. imagine my shock when i got my first male whitney alexander on the phone: FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!
in this film, a dude named jim killeen contacted a bunch of other jim killeen’s that he found on google, and they all got together and made a film about it. i haven’t seen it yet but the concept sounds pretty interesting, assuming the jim killeens of the world aren’t a bunch of boring-ass tools.
why not watch it and let me know! love you, guys, whoever you aren’t!
at first i thought i didn’t have words to begin to explain how stupid this movie looks, but then i realized i didn’t need words to explain, that i could just vomit into an ice tray, freeze it overnight, and then go to the premier of this movie and drop each little vomit cube into the backs of the shirts of everyone involved.
ok, seriously, this is a movie about 3 morons who get stuck on a chairlift for a few days. that’s like yuppie disaster #452, right behind accidentally dropping your iphone into your butternut squash risotto.
now is this conflict man vs. man? sorta. is this man vs. machine? sorta. is this man vs. nature? well, sorta. you know what this paltry little conflict conflated a to a 120-minute plot is? man vs. a couple of men who left them on a machine where they are forced to deal with a little bit of nature for a few days. oh, and i heard a bit of wolf howling so there might be a teency bit of man vs. beast, because how could you have a movie about really cold snow without a wolf in there somewhere?
actually watching this movie will give you a perfect insight into what it might be like to be trapped on a chairlift for an interminable amount of time in inclement weather, fearing for your life, and let’s just say, in short, i am afraid.
via oneplusinfinity
i just got back from the silent movie theatre to watch sion sono’s highly acclaimed Love Exposure, and despite all the great reviews and recommendations, i have to say this film was pure EXCREMENT.
at the behest of dear film buff friends and on the glowing reviews of the highly credible Cinefamily, i went to see this 237-minute japanese film, and after 120 minutes i could take no more of its bumbling story line, cliched plot “twists,” and abominable acting and had to leave and try and salvage some part of my night. i’d rather waste the price of my ticket than my time so i have no guilt about walking out of a film midway, particularly when the film is FOUR FRIGGING HOURS.
this film has never been picked up for wide distribution and i can see why now. what i can’t understand is why there are so many batshit gaga reviews about it and why everyone in the theatre was actually laughing at all the hackneyed humor and completely predictable storyline. i have never felt so out of touch with so many proximous people before in my life.
the upside of all of this is that i got to experience the silent movie theatre for the first time and that i also got to eat popcorn for dinner, so not a completely wasted friday night.
but seriously folks, this movie is shit. at times i thought the projectionist had slipped in the final project of a first-year film student at a liberal arts college for the deaf and blind, but i’m pretty sure that was all pure sion sono, a director i might be smart enough to avoid in the future. feel free to waste your money, folks, but do not waste your four hours on this. you can never earn that back.
i love this idea. just pick a 15-second scene from Star Wars, film it yourself, and then upload the clip to the site. When all the scenes are in, they’ll be spliced together making a completely crowdsourced patchwork Star Wars that I will probably only be able to sit through half of. but i love the idea!
had i more time, my scene would involve sopping wet actors who just got out of the shower, towels wrapped around them, hair dripping onto their face. they will also speak all dialogue with a mouth FULL of crackers. who’s in???
pick your scenes here.
via swissmiss
black dynamite is in theatres october 16th. that’s as excited as i’m ever going to sound about this movie.
honestly, didn’t blaxploitation get old after i’m gonna git you sucka??? isn’t this the same movie, 11 21 years later? why’s everybody still get all excited about afros, platform shoes, and fur collars?
remains to be seen i suppose. though it’ll probably remain to be seen for the rest of my life. sorry!
you can “black dynamite yoself” here. the cleverness just never stops.
The official trailer for the The Fantastic Mr. Fox came out yesterday and I am actually looking forward to seeing this film!
There are the obvious reasons: it’s directed by wes anderson; it casts the always-charming anderson entourage such as bill murray, jason schwartzman, owen wilson, etc; it’s stop-motion animated, which is a refreshing respite from the tyranny of CGI; and it’s adapted from a roald dahl story by the same name.
but even more awesome than all of this is that jarvis cocker plays the voice of petey and even wrote and performed a couple of songs for the soundtrack. jarvis cocker has done a lot: he was the frontman of Pulp, a seminal band that figured heavily in the britpop movement; he bum rushed the stage during an Michael Jackson performance at the ’96 BRIT awards resulting in his arrest; and he was the object of my intense longing for about the first half of my 20s. THAT’S A HELL OF A LOT TO DO IN A LIFETIME! apparently he even narrated a good portion of The Fantastic Mr. Fox until it was cut due to test audience’s inability to understand his Sheffield accent. (that’s going to be our loss, you shitty focus group viewers. take it to your graves!)
The Fantastic Mr. Fox comes out in November, but if we’re lucky, cocker’s tracks will surface well beforehand.
not many people know this about me, but back in 1991, i was the original curly in city slickers. i ended up getting fired though for trying to steal the set horses which is when they brought on jack palance. this is from the original footage, starring me:
and another little known fact is that michael jackson, believe it or not, was the original Terminator but was forced to quit when he discovered that the terminator was not permitted to wear a surgical mask and was also required to actually touch things and people. this clip was filmed just the day before schwarzenegger took over:
one of the most interesting career near-comebacks was for america’s original party animal Spuds Mackenzie, who was the original peter gibbons in 1999′s Office Space. rumor has it that spuds mackenzie was fired after only 2 days after repeatedly passing out in a puddle of his own urine and for publicly humping himself.
check out my movie moment to discover other little-known facts about Back to School, The Terminator, Office Space, City Slickers, and Dodgeball..
via the presurfer