new year’s resolution

i’ve never made a new year’s resolution before. i figure, if the change isn’t important enough to enact right away, regardless of the date, then it’s probably not change worth enacting or adhering to.

then i came across this stupid but engaging site and i found a bunch of resolutions that even i could stick to because they’re things that even retarded people do like: eat a mango, frost a cupcake, start a sticker collection, give a hug everyday, let go (of their bowels), etc. You really can’t fuck this one up.

basically you just keep clicking on it so that you can see all the inspirational phrases that people contributed from their macbook pro while sitting at their ikea desk next to the latest issue of ready-made, while wearing a hand-made scarf that you can buy at their booth at the local indie craft market. oh, and they’re drinking yerba maté tea and contracting their sphincter.

ok, but what really pisses me off is that i’ve been clicking for the past hour and i still don’t see my contributed resolution. please, if anyone sees “no more masturbating in public bathrooms” please take a screen shot and send it to me!

happy new year!