Frozen…a thriller about cold temperatures.

at first i thought i didn’t have words to begin to explain how stupid this movie looks, but then i realized i didn’t need words to explain, that i could just vomit into an ice tray, freeze it overnight, and then go to the premier of this movie and drop each little vomit cube into the backs of the shirts of everyone involved.

ok, seriously, this is a movie about 3 morons who get stuck on a chairlift for a few days. that’s like yuppie disaster #452, right behind accidentally dropping your iphone into your butternut squash risotto.

now is this conflict man vs. man? sorta. is this man vs. machine? sorta. is this man vs. nature? well, sorta. you know what this paltry little conflict conflated a to a 120-minute plot is? man vs. a couple of men who left them on a machine where they are forced to deal with a little bit of nature for a few days. oh, and i heard a bit of wolf howling so there might be a teency bit of man vs. beast, because how could you have a movie about really cold snow without a wolf in there somewhere?

actually watching this movie will give you a perfect insight into what it might be like to be trapped on a chairlift for an interminable amount of time in inclement weather, fearing for your life, and let’s just say, in short, i am afraid.

via oneplusinfinity