human loser marries his videogame sweetheart

you know why japan has one of the lowest birth rates in the world? because the japanese government allows people to MARRY VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS IN LEGITIMIZED WEDDINGS.

Japanese gamer Sal9000 (real name Loser-san) wedded the love of his lame ass life on Sunday in the first ever human-avatar union. the bride was Nene Anegasaki, a brunette bombshell who, if she weren’t confined to a screen, would never have anything to do with the bumbling boob Sal9000 in real life. Nene hails from the Nintendo DS game Love Plus, a dating simulation game where you, uh, court women. for points. Her family was unable to make the wedding, seeing as videogame characters don’t have families, but the wedding was fortunately still streamed live on the video sharing site Nico Nico Douga so that everyone with an internet connection could witness how sad it looked like when a man walked down the aisle holding his bride-to-be in his palm.

The newlyweds are currently honeymooning in Guam where Sal9000 can be seen sulking in restaurants after having realized that he’s sworn his life to a video game character who doesn’t put out.

I can’t tell if this story makes me more depressed for Sal9000 or the future in general. because if this is the next phase of internet dating, i think i can stop shaving my legs now.

prepare to weep for humanity as you watch this:

via boingboing