a new toy for your dog—a sex doll!

well, now i’ve seen it all and can’t say i’m all that surprised. Brazilian company Petsmiling has been the first to invent and manufacture a sex doll for dogs whose fulsome sex drives makes them serial humpers of everything from legs to cars. the DoggieLoverDoll is described by the company as a “a female canine manufactured in soft rubber with a silicone vagina and an easy to clean reservoir.” It comes in small, medium, and large and even comes with a bottle of water-based lubricant, for when the doll just “isn’t into it.”

according to Petsmiling’s website, the pets who used the DoggieLoverDoll “showed a better quality of life based on less anxiety, less barking, and less territorial demarcation” and they were apparently better lovers when they finally managed to snag a real dog.

there are some obvious drawbacks to the doll, one of which is the intense awkwardness of walking in on your dog whacking it on a doll. the other is that videos like this might never be made again, which would be a great loss to humanity— and caninity.

a related anecdote: when my niece hannah was four, anytime their dog would hump someone’s leg she would squeal with delight “he’s dancing with you!” once, i swear to god, she even squealed “he’s dancing with me!” i wouldn’t want to rob any child of that sort of misguided excitement.